I’m a simple guy. 26 years old and already showing male pattern baldness…That humbles a man. I like wearing flannel and steel-toed boots. I also like attending symphonies. I listen to orchestral film music like a man dying of thirst guzzles water.

I’m a writer, an optimist, and a thoroughbred Shetland unicorn breeder. If you’ve never tasted a unicorn sirloin steak, you haven’t honored your sense of taste.

If you’ve taken a fancy to the way I string English words together, I highly recommend that you head over here, or contact me here—and then pay me to write stuff for you.